|The draft is very difficult to read. Some of the sentences are very convoluted and confusing. The whole document requires English editing. Examples of particularly troublesome paragraphs are:
• (35) – the last 3 sentences are very confusing and should be re-written
• (57) –“those” should be replaced by “dose” (i.e. - “made reflect the dose likely to be received”)
• (81) – re-write for greater clarity
• (90) – re-write for greater clarity
• (C1) – clarify where is the framework in “the Commission has developed a framework to assist the taking of such decisions in real time”. Does this refer to Tables C1a, b, c and d?
In addition, there are terms which would benefit from a definition. On paragraph (95) there are footnotes that refer to a glossary, but there is no glossary. The terms that require definitions (with the paragraph where they appear in parenthesis) follow:
• evacuation of close in populations (n), (89)
• “reflex” use of pre-planned protection strategies (r), (122)
• ‘severe deterministic injury’ vs ‘deterministic tissue reactions’ (48)
• postulated accident (50)
• reference individuals (85)
• Throughout the document, replace “hospitals” for “medical facilities” as ambulatory centers may have radioactive sources capable of producing emergencies (for example, the teletherapy units which caused the accidents in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, and Goiania, Brazil, were not in hospitals).
• (16): In line 5, add “medical”
• (78) and (A2): Spell NPP
• Figure 4 : Indicate what “Sm_rel” and “Lg_rel” mean.
• (80): It would be helpful to have some numerical examples as guidance of what is “an unacceptable level” and “very different”.
• (81): Make reference to water. (Water is addressed properly in Annex B (11); it should be mentioned somewhere in the text as well…)
• (125): The second sentence assumes “the need to act becomes less urgent”. Perhaps not… What will become less urgent is the need to make decisions, as properly stated in (127)
• (A3): Refer to Figure 4 in the text.
• Specify whether tables (A4) and (A5) are for small or large releases.
• Figure A1 requires a legend; also, is it for winter or summer?
• UNSCEAR 2000 should be changed to UNSCEAR 2008, depending on when this ICRP report will be published.
• Add the “Joint Radiation Emergency Management Plan of the International Organizations” which is published by the IAEA every two years, the last time in 2006. http://www-pub.iaea.org/MTCD/publications/PDF/JPLAN2006_web.pdf .
This reference can be added to paragraphs (11) and (67).
One final suggestion is that the ICRP documents on existing exposure situations and on rehabilitation of contaminated areas be published at about the same time as this one on emergency exposure situations in order to facilitate access to complementary guidance, especially regarding transition phases between emergency, existing and planned exposure situations.