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Submitted by Satoshi YOSHIDA, National Institute of Radiological Sciences (NIRS)
   Commenting on behalf of the organisation
Document Environmental Protection - Transfer parameters for Reference Animals and Plants
 
[General comments]

The draft does not discuss well about the uncertainties related with vertical distribution of radionuclides in soil. It is recommended to add following sentences on line 552 (or another appropriate place).
“…. many of these factors. Concentrations of Radionuclides (e.g. radiocesium) in forest soil change with depth even after long time from deposition. A few cm of topsoil often has orders of magnitude higher concentration than deeper layers. Therefore, CR value for terrestrial RAPs especially pine tree strongly depend on the soil depth considered for calculation, and aggregated transfer factors based on the deposition are often used to solve this problem. In this report, if transfer data were related to radionuclide deposition, the values were converted to activities in soil with 10 cm sampling depth as described in paragraph (65). With respect to …”

In chapter 2, line 533, the report start using fresh weight base CRs without any notice on the possible use of dry or ash weight bases ones. It is better to add following sentence at the beginning of paragraph (38).
“There are several definitions of concentration ratio (CR). In this report, the fresh weight (fw) activity concentrations of …..”

In line 658 and later: the term “baseline transfer parameters” was used without any definition. Reader needs explanation on the meaning of “baseline”.

In paragraph (81), homeostatic control of elemental concentration was discussed. However, there is no further discussion whether CRs are useful for such elements or not. It is better to add following sentence, if the report does not calculate CRs for elements controlled homeostatically.
“… is effectively constant (e.g. Koulikov and Meili 2003). In such case, CR values are not applicable.”
In addition, tables for CR values should be consistent with this statement. For example, data for K is better to be removed or be shown with annotation.

Values in tables should be checked considering following points.
line 1614: "Geometric mean" of Po is lower than "Minimum" value of Po
line 1629: "Geometric mean" of Am is lower than "Minimum" value of Am
line 1641: Please check ID334 and ID344. If the same reference, re-calculate "Arithmetic Mean", "Arithmetic Standard Deviation", "Geometric Mean", "Geometric Standard Deviation" of Ni, Pb, Ra, Th and U.
line 1674: "Geometric mean" of Cs is lower than "Minimum" value of Cs
line 1674: 17 samples of U can have "Std= 0"?
line 1679: "Geometric mean" of Cs is lower than "Minimum" value of Cs
line 1686: "Arithmetic Mean" and "Geometric mean" of Am are lower than "Minimum value" of Am.


[Major editorial comments]

1. Introduciton
line 271: match body text "Beresford et al. (2000)" and reference (No reference)
line 282: match body text "Fisher et al., 1983" and reference (No reference)
line 459-46: insert reference of Beresford et al. (2000) (cf line 194)
line 465-466: check "Comans, R.N.J., Middelburg, J.J., Zonderhuis, J., et al. 1989. Mobilization of radiocaesium in pore water of lake sediments. Nature 339, 367-369." (unquoted)
line 468-469: insert reference of Fisher et al. (1983) (cf line 282)
line 481-482: check "ICRP, 2003. A framework for assessing the impact of ionising radiation on non-human species. ICRP Publication 91. Ann. ICRP 33(3)." (unquoted)
line 485-486: check "Livens, F.R., Baxter, M.S., 1988. Particle size and radionuclide levels in some west Cumbrian soils. The Science of the Total Environment, 70, 1-17." (unquoted)
line 507-510: check " Yankovich, T.L., 2002. Towards an improved ability to estimate internal dose to non-human biota: Development of conceptual models for Reference Non-Human Biota. Proceedings of Third International Symposium on the Protection of the Environment from Ionising Radiation (SPEIR3), July 2002. Darwin, Australia." (unquoted)
line 511-512: check "Yankovich, T.L., Vives i Batlle, J., Vives-Lynch, S. et al. (2010). International model validation exercise on radionculide transfer and doses to freshwater biota. J Radiol Prot. " (unquoted, no volume and no pages)
line 562 and 567: redundancy

2. Overview
line 661: match body text " ICRP, 2008" and reference (No reference)
line 711: match body text "2002" and reference (No reference)
line 819: Check "Vives i Batlle, J., Wilson, R.C., Watts, S.J. et al., 2008. Dynamic model for the assessment of radiological exposure to marine biota. Journal of Environmental Radioactivity 99 (11), 1711-1730" (unquoted)
line 948: standard deviation of standard error --> standard deviation or standard error

3.Derivation
line 1002: match body text " Yankovich et al., 2007" and reference (No reference)

4.Concentration ratio
line 1145: match body text "Coughtrey & Thorne 1983a,b" and reference (No reference)
line 1145: match body text "Bowen 1979" and reference (No reference)
line 1146: match body text "Brown et al 2003" and reference (No reference)
line 1148: match body text "Bowen 1979" and reference (No reference)
lines 1524-1525: match body text "Bowen 1979" and reference (No reference) (cf line: 1145)
lines 1524-1525: match body text "Brown et al 2003" and reference (No reference) (cf line: 1146)

Annex A
line 1641: et al. (1989) (Please insert Auther)

A.4. References for Annex A
line1959: check "Mislevy, P., Blue, W.G., Roessler, C.E. (1989). Productivity of Clay Tailings from Phosphate Mining .1. Biomass Crops. Journal of Environmental Quality, 18 (1), 95-100. " (unquoted)


[Minor editorial comments]

Contents
line 31: INTRODUCTION (use the same font as the other titles)
line 34: 1.2.1 Physical and chemical processes (remove space)
lines 45-46: insert 3. Derivation of Concentration ratios for Reference Animal and Plants
lines 52: 3.4 References (lower)

1. Introduciton
line 194: correct Pröhl, 2008 (insert ",")
line 194: match body text "2008" and reference "2009" (cf line 499)
line 282: eg-->e.g.(correct)
line 408: I-132, I-133 (remove ",")
line 499: match body text "2008" and reference "2009" (cf line 194)

2. Overview
line 527: match body text " Thoman" and reference " Thomann" (cf line 808)
line 539: fresh weight-->fw (correct)
line 542: fresh weight-->fw (correct)
line 544: fresh weight-->fw (correct)
line 554: match body text " Smith et al.," and reference " Smith" (cf line 806)
line 555: IAEA in press a-->IAEA in press (correct or need "IAEA in press b")
lines 598-599: match body text " Vives I Batlle et al." and reference " Vives I Batlle" (cf line 817)
line 630: IAEA in press a-->IAEA in press (correct or need "IAEA in press b")
line 643: IAEA in press a-->IAEA in press (correct or need "IAEA in press b")
line 672: IAEA in press a-->IAEA in press (correct or need "IAEA in press b")
line 742: Beresford et al. (2007) Beresford, N.A., Howard, B.J., Barnett, C.L., 2007b. Application --> Beresford, N.A., Howard, B.J., Barnett, C.L., 2007. Application (correct)
line 745Howard, B.J., et al., -->Howard, B.J. et al., (delete ",")
line 748: Beresford, N.A., Gaschak, S., Barnett, C.L. et al., 2008b (use "et. al")
line 752:Beresford, N.A., Barnett, C.L., Brown, J. et al., 2008c. (use "et al.")
line 757: Beresford, N.A., Barnett, C.L., Brown, J.E. et al., Submitted. (use "et al.")
line 762: Brown J H,West G B and Enquist B J 2000 --> Brown J. H., West G. B. and Enquist. B. J., 2000 (insert ".")
line 770: Dowdall, M. et al. 2004). --> Dowdall, M. et al. (2004). (insert "(")
line 800-801: insert reference of ICRP (2002) (cf line 711)
line 800-801 insert reference of ICRP (2008) (cf line 661)
line 806 match body text " Smith et al.," and reference " Smith" (cf line 554)
line 808 match body text " Thoman" and reference " Thomann" (cf line 527)
line 810: USDoE-->USDOE (correct)
line 813: USDoE-->USDOE (correct)
line 817: match body text " Vives I Batlle et al." and reference " Vives I Batlle" (cf line 597)
line 824: Wood, M.D., Marshall, W.A., Beresford, N.A. et al., 2008. (use "et al.")
line 827: Yankovich, T.L., Vives i Batlle, J., Vives-Lynch, S. et al. (2010). (use "et al.", no volume and no pages)

3.Derivation
line 1064: Galeriu, D., Beresford, N. A., Melintescu, A. et al. 2003. (use "et al.")

4.Concentration ratio
line 1146: Brown et al 2003-->Brown et al. 2003 (insert ".")
line 1252: match body text "Yankovich, pers. Comm.." and reference (No reference or "Yankovich, T. L., Beresford, N. A., Wood M.D., et al. (submitted)"(cf 1592-1593))
line 1400: match body text "Hosseini et al., 2008" and reference (No reference)
line 1510: Andersson, P., Garnier-Laplace, J., Beresford, N. A., et al. (2009).(use "et al.")
line 1512: Beresford N. A., Broadley M. R., Howard B. J. et al. (2004). (use "et al.")
line 1517: Beresford, N.A., Howard, B.J., Mayes, R.W.et al. (2007). (use "et al.")
line 1521: Beresford, N.A., Barnett, C.L., Howard, B.J. et al. (2008). (use "et al.")
line 1525: Brown, J. , Børretzen, P. , Dowdall, M. et al. (2004). (use "et al.")
line 1532: no title, no voluem and no pages
lines 1532-1533: match body text "Coughtrey & Thorne 1983a,b" and reference (No reference) (cf line: 1145)
lines 1537-1538: match body text "Hosseini et al., 2008" and reference (No reference) (cf line: 1400)
line 1556: move "Pröhl G. (2009). Interception of dry and wet deposited radionuclides by vegetation. Journal of Environmental Radioactivity, Volume 100, Issue 9, Pages 675-682" to line 1576-1577 (order of alphabet)

Annex A
All Table: Arithmetic Standard Deviaton-->Arithmetic Standard Deviation (correct)
line 1608: use "." for a decimal point
line 1641: Copplestone (1996-->Copplestone (1996) (correct)
line 1641: Hinton et al. (20059-->Hinton et al. (2005) (correct)
line 1641: match the table "Pokarzhevskii and Krivolutskii" and reference "Pokarzhevskii and Krivolutzkii" (line 2025)
line 1641: match the table "Mahon and Mathewes (1983)" and reference "Mahon and Mathews (1983)" (line 2025)
line 1641: Martinez-Aguirre and perianez-->Martinez-Aguirre and Perianez (correct, cf Ref ID 284)
line 1641: Rumble et al..-->Rumble et al. (delet ".")
line 1641: vanderploeg-->Vanderploeg (Capitalize)
line 1674: "381" in Ref ID of Co (not begin on a new line in the middle of numbers)
line 1674: "23" in Ref ID of Tc (not begin on a new line in the middle of numbers)

A.4. References for Annex A
lines1706: Germaine, P.,(1979).-->Germaine, P. (1979). (delet ",")
lines1708: Andrews, S.M., Johnson, M.S., Cooke, J.A. (use small letter)
lines1710: LeadEnvironmental Pollution-->Lead. Environmental Pollution (insert space)
lines1710: 58 (1), 73-85-->58 (1), 73-85. (insert ".")
lines1713: 123 (1) 133-147-->123 (1), 133-147. (insert "," and ".")
lines1719: Same reference with line 1727
lines1731: 1998-->(1998) (insert brackets)
lines1734: Beresford, N.A., Gaschak, S., Barnett, C.L. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
lines1737: 1496-1502-->1496-1502. (insert ".")
lines1739: Beresford, N.A., Wright, S.M., Barnett, C.L. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
lines1743: Beyer, W.N., Chaney, R.L., Mulhern, B.M. (use small letter)
lines1744-1745: insert another line
lines1745: Boisson, F., Hutchins, D.A., Fowler, S.W.et al. (use "et al.")
lines1747: 35 (7-12), 313-321-->35 (7-12), 313-321. (insert ".")
lines1749: Southwest England-->Southwest England. (insert ".")
lines1754: Brown, J., Gjelsvik, R., Holm, E. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
lines1758: Brown, J.E., Kolstad, A.K., Brungot, A.L. et al. (use "et al.")
lines1759: adjacent seas-->adjacent seas. (insert ".")
lines1772-1773: insert another line
lines1776: Clulow, F.V., Dave, N.K., Lim, T.P. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
lines1780: Copplestone, D. (use small letter)
lines1787: move "D.M. Lee, ( 2006). Marine Environmental Radioactivity Survey Data. Aquatic Toxicology, 2" to line 1907-1908 (order of alphabet)
lines1790: 358-->358. (insert ".")
lines1792: Dowdall, M., Gwynn, J. P., Moran, C. et al. (use "et al.")
lines1795: Edgington, D.N., Wahlgren, M.A., Marshall, J.S. (use small letter)
lines1798: Inc269-285-->Inc. 269-285. (insert "." and space)
lines1800: Ertel, J., Ziegler, H. (use small letter)
lines1801: Chernobyl accident-->Chernobyl accident. (insert ".")
line1803: Ferenbaugh, J.K., Fresquez, P.R., Ebinger, M.H. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line1805: and Assessment-->and Assessment, (insert ".")
line1807: Fisher, N.S., Fowler, S.W., Boisson, F. et al. (use "et al.")
line1814: Gaschak, S. (use small letter)
line1816: Gaschak, S., Chizhevsky, I., Arkhipov, A. et al. (use "et al.")
line1821: Germain, P., Leclerc, G., Le Cavelier, S. et al. (use "et al.")
line1823: 35, (2),175-200.-->35(2),175-200. (delet "," and space)
line1826: 93-103-->93-103. (insert ".")
line1833: Hameed, P.S., Asokan, R., Iyengar, M.A.R. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line1835: Ecology 8 (1), 11-18-->Ecology, 8(1), 11-18. (insert "," and ".")
line1837: Hayashi, N., Katagiri, H., Narita, O. et al (use "et al.")
line1840: Hendriks, A.J., MA, W.C., Brouns, J.J. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line1842: floodplains-->floodplains. (insert ".")
line1842: Archives of Environmental Contamination and Toxicology-->Archives of Environmental Contamination and Toxicology, (insert ",")
line1844: Hewett, C.J., Jefferies, D.F. (use small letter)
line1847: Hinton, T.G., Knox, A.S. Kaplan, D.I. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line1848: Chemistry 264, 2, 417-422-->Chemistry, 264(2), 417-422. (insert brackets and delet ",")
line1851: Holm, E., Ballestra, S., Lopez, J.J., Bulos, A. et al. (use "et al.")
line1853: 51-72-->51-72. (insert ".")
line1855: Holm, E., Persson, B.R.R., Hallstadius, L. et al. (use "et al.")
line1858: Hurtgen, C., Koch, G., van der Ben, D. et al. (use "et al.")
line1865: U.S.A-->U.S.A. (insert ".")
line1865: Applied Geochemistry 1 (5), 573-590-->Applied Geochemistry,1(5), 573-590. (delet space and insert ".")
line1865: Idiz, Erdem F., Carlisle, Donald, Kaplan, I. R.-->Idiz, ?., Erdem F., Carlisle, ?. et al. (insert initials)
line1868: Ikaheimonen, T.K., Rissanen, K., Matishov, D.G. et al. (use "et al.")
line1870: 227-232-->227-232. (insert ".")
line1872: Ilus, E., Klemola, S., Ika¨heimonen, T.K. et al. (use "et al.")
line1880: Jagoe, C.H., Majeske, A.J., Oleksyk, T.K. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line1881: zone--> zone. (insert ".")
line1882: 873-878-->873-878. (insert ".")
line1884: Janssen, M.P.M., Glastra, P., Lembrechts, J.F.M.M. (use small letter)
line1885: The effects of temperature-->The effects of temperature. (insert ".")
line1886: and Toxicology 31 (2), 184-191-->and Toxicology, 31(2), 184-191. (delet space and insert ".")
line1888: Health Physics17 (3) 507-512-->Health Physics, 17(3), 507-512. (delet space and insert "," and ".")
line1890: Johanson, K. J. (use small letter)
line1892: 287-301-->287-301. (insert ".")
line1892: International Atomic Energy Agency"-->"International Atomic Energy Agency" (insert a quotation mark)
line1894: Johanson, K.J., and Bergstrom R. (use small letter)
line1895: 309-316-->309-316. (insert ".")
line1897: Karasov, W.H., Jung, R.E., van den Langenberg, S. et al (use "et al." and small letter)
line1899: 942-953-->942-953. (insert ".")
line1901: Kershaw, P.J., McMahon, C.A., Rudjord, A.L. et al. (use small letter)
line1905: Kurokawa, Y.,(1980) .-->Kurokawa, Y. (1980) . (delet ",")
line1908: Lindahl, P., Roos, P., Holm, E. et al. (use "et al.")
line1909: Journal of Environmental Radioactivity-->Journal of Environmental Radioactivity, (insert ",")
line1913: Pedobiologia 24 (2) 109-119.-->Pedobiologia, 24(2), 109-119. (insert ",")
line1915: Same reference with line 1918
line1916: 281-290-->281-290. (insert ".")
line1918: Mahon, D. C., Mathewes, R. W (use small letter)
line1919: Canadian Journal of Soil Science 63 (2), 281-290-->Canadian Journal of Soil Science, 63(2), 281-290. (insert "," and ".")
line1922: 323-329-->323-329. (insert ".")
line1925: Radioactivity 35 (2), 149-171-->Radioactivity, 35(2), 149-171. (delet space and insert "," and ".")
line1931: 49-62-->49-62. (insert ".")
line1934: Journal of Environmental Radioactivity-->Journal of Environmental Radioactivity, (insert ",")
line1936: Masson, M., van Weers, A. W., Groothuis, R. E. J. et al. (use "et al.")
line1945: Matishov, G.G., Matishov, D.G., Szczypa, J. et al (use "et al.")
lines1946-1947: insert another line
line1947: Melhuus, A., Seip, K.L., Seip, H.M. et al. (use "et al.")
line1949: 101-107-->101-107. (insert ".")
line1951: Mietelski, J.W. (use small letter)
line1954: Miretsky, G., Alekseev, P.V., Ramzaev, O.A. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line1957: 69-272-->69-272. (insert ".")
line1962: Morgan, J.E., Morgan, A.J. (use small letter)
line1967: 643-650-->643-650. (insert ".")
line1969: Naustvoll, S., Ovrevoll, B., Hellstrom, T. et al. (use "et al.")
line1974: Nelin (use small letter)
line1977: 1975-->(1975). (insert brackets and ",")
line1977: Nielsen, M.G., Gissel-Nielsen, G. (use small letter)
line1980: NRPA (1994)-->NRPA (1994). (insert ".")
line1982: Østerås .-->Østerås. (insert ".")
line1984: NRPA (1997)-->NRPA (1997). (insert ".")
line1988: NRPA (1999)-->NRPA (1999). (insert ".")
lines1990-1991: insert another line
line1991: NRPA (2000)-->NRPA (2000). (insert ".")
line1995: NRPA (1995)-->NRPA (1995). (insert ".")
line1999: NRPA (1998)-->NRPA (1998). (insert ".")
line2003: Outola I, Saxen R, Heinävaara-->Outolaz, I., Saxen, R., Heinävaara. ?. (insert initials)
line2004: 657-664-->657-664. (insert ".")
line2007: 8-23-->8-23. (insert ".")
line2015: Pietz, R.I., Peterson, J.R., Prater, J.E. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2016: at a strip mine reclamation site-->at a strip mine reclamation site. (insert ".")
line2016: Journal of Environmental Quality-->Journal of Environmental Quality, (insert ",")
line2017: 13(4) 651-654.-->13(4), 651-654. (insert ",")
line2019: Pokarzhevskii, A., Zhulidov, A. (use small letter)
line2020: 403-404-->403-404. (insert ".")
line2022: Same reference with line 2025
line2022: Pokarzhevskii, A.D., Krivolutzkii, D.A. (use small letter)
line2023: Biogeochemistry-->Biogeochemistry, (insert ",")
line2026: Biogeochemistry 39 (1)-->Biogeochemistry, 39 (1), 1-13. (insert "," and ".")
line2028: 85-90-->85-90. (insert ".")
lines2031-2032: insert another line
line2032: Preston, D.F., Dutton, J.W.R. (use small letter)
line2036: (1997)-->(1997). (insert ".")
line2036: Rissanen, K., Ikaheimonen, T.K., Matishov, D., Matishov, G.G. (use "et al.")
line2038: 323-331-->323-331. (insert ".")
line2040: Rissanen, K., Ikaheimonen, T.K., Vlipieti, J., Matishov, D. G. & Matishov, G.G. (use "et al.")
line2043: Aomori, J 107-114-->Aomori, Japan. 107-114. (insert "." and correct)
line2045: Rissanen, K., Matishov, D.G. & Matishov, G.G.-->Rissanen, K., Matishov, D.G., Matishov, G.G. (delet "&")
line2049: Rowan, D.J., Rasmussen, J.B. (use small letter)
line2050: structure-->structure. (insert ".")
line2056: Saxen R, Outola I-->Saxen, R., Outola, I. (insert "," and ".")
line2058: 13-21-->13-21. (insert ".")
line2060: Ssheuhammer, A. M., Bond, D.E., Burgess, N.M. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2062: Environmental Toxicology and Chemistry-->Environmental Toxicology and Chemistry, (insert ",")
line2064: Sheppard, S.C., Evenden, W.G., MacDonald, C.R. (use small letter)
line2066: 979-989-->979-989. (insert ".")
line2068: Shorti, Z.F., Palumbo, R.F., Oldon, P.B. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2069: Ecology 50, 979-989-->Ecology, 50, 979-989. (insert "," and ".")
line2070: Shutov, V.N., Bruk, G.Ya., Travnikova, I.G. et al. (use "et al.")
line2077: Stark, K., Avila, R., Wallberg, P. (use small letter)
line2081: 591-594-->591-594. (insert ".")
line2083: Steinnes, E., Gaare, E., Engen, S. (use small letter)
line2084: 3905-3908-->3905-3908. (insert ".")
line2086: Stephenson, M., Mierle, G., Reid, R.A. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2094: 125-140-->125-140. (insert ".")
line2096: 266-267-->266-267. (insert ".")
line2102: 303-312-->303-312. (insert ".")
line2104: Vanderploeg, H.A., Parzcyk, D.C., Wilcox, W.H. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2108: insert WSC
line2110: Wood, M.D., Leah, R.T., Jones, S.R. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2111: dune ecosystem-->dune ecosystem. (insert ".")
line2111: South African Journal of Science-->South African Journal of Science, (insert ".")
line2112: 4062-4074-->4062-4074. (insert ".")
line2114: Wood, M.D., Marshall, W.A., Beresford, N.A. et al. (use "et al." and small letter)
line2115: 2008-->(2008) (insert brackets)
line2116: coastal sand dunes-->coastal sand dunes, (insert ",")
line2116: 1484-1495-->1484-1495. (insert ".")
line2118: Yankovich, T.L. (use small letter)
line2121: Yoshida, S., Muramatsu, Y., Peijnenburg, W.J.G.M. (use small letter)
line2122: 40 ,-->40, (delet space)

End of the comments